Nathan and I recently met our very first independent Ni Van woman. While on a date having coffee in a nice restaurant, we met Odie. Small in stature, but big in ideas, she began explaining the things she found “unfair” in her culture. She, being an independent self-supported woman, found the lack of opportunity for a woman to excel in her home country very disappointing. We, however, loved getting an educated look into some of Vanuatu's cultural taboos that we did not fully understand.
In Vanuatu, you often find men walking in front of a woman. Men do not walk beside, but in front. Men do not open doors for women, but rather, go in first, followed by the woman. This is not what we would consider a “gentleman” in the U.S. However, all this begin to make a little more sense when Odie explained what the "old fella’s" (elders) of her village explained to her.
A Ni Van man walks in front of his woman as a means of protection. He is saying “this is my woman,” not in the sense that he owns her, but in the sense that he is letting all other men, or anyone who wishes to harm her, know they must go through him first. Now, seeing it from this new light, imagine what they must think of the white men when they, in their gentlemanly manner, allow “ladies first!” In this culture, they are saying “I am going to hide behind you. You protect yourself and me!" Ha!
We probably discussed these things for over an hour. Everything from why a woman cannot enter a Nakanmal (men’s meeting house), to why the woman belonged at home. While I am still not keen on the fact that men are the preferred sex, and women are terribly disappointed to find they have given birth to a girl, (I have also seen this in America), or the fact that the woman following the man is often carrying a heaping pile of fire wood on her back while the man is carrying nothing, I can say I do see SOME reasoning behind SOME of their methods.
For instance, the same "old fella" also explained how in times past, when the woman was not allowed to leave the home without her husband, sex crimes were almost unheard of in their village. Now, Odie explains, she is afraid to walk home after her shift as a waitress is over.
So I guess not all of our westernized cultural ideas have been an improvement. But I am still waiting to find out their reasoning behind cannibalism and I am thinking if I begin to see reason behind this particular previous cultural practice, it might be time for us to come home!
Jennifer
